MY ENDLESS LOVE BY SHAZWANY
It is a cold, breezy night. I walk for hours in this silent street. There is no one here and nobody there. What happen to this town? This town has turned from somewhere magnificently beautiful to somewhere, I find very empty. Just like my heart. I am still looking for that something missing and making my life miserable. Everyday I am searching and never had I found any. Perhaps my walk in the lonely street will make a difference. I got everything; wonderful parents, success, a great career, caring friends, the loving one and my two beautiful children. I have everything but why am I not happy? Maybe having the things I dreamt for since I was a teenager were not enough. Maybe I had to have things that I did not plan to have. But what is it? I have changed; physically, mentally and spiritually. I need to change myself to be a better person. So I did since few years back. The changing to be another person took a long time. It did not occur spontaneously. On the other hand, there was a story behind the changing of the new me.
It was a story that neither upset nor excites me. I just thought it was my lifetime story. The changing of me changed my life. And right now I still keep on thinking and asking myself whether I made the right decision or not. I tried to convince myself, I am very happy in my life but the truth is I do not know what happiness is.
My walk along the street that used to be part of my life, Kajang, brought me nowhere and I stop at a place where I start to shape myself, my high school. It is my favourite place in the world to visit for a long time. This was the place where I start what I am right now. A place of learning and a place I share my joy with very caring friends. I made a history to this school. I am really proud of that. While I am thinking of my school days here, my phone rings.

“Hello.”

“Hey, when are you coming home? Where are you?”

“Oh, yeah. It’s getting late. I was just going for a walk and stopped by at my old school.”

“Well, hurry up and the kids are asleep. I’m getting worried here. So, I’ll see you at home.Bye.”

My dear Ammarre called. He is my true friend, true love and loving husband. My days with him get more wonderful each day. He has made my life in the foreign land so much easier. Without him, I think I will never make it through the challenges there. Well, to succeed anything, it costs a lot of effort. When there’s a will, there’s a way. I never regret to have him in my life. Even though having him does not make my life so perfect, he has made a different in my life. Since we studied together in London, he helped me with so many things. I appreciate him very much.


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